Have you ever been in a group of moms where everyone seems to magically be a pro at every detail about parenting and life except you? Yeah, me too.
You enter a room full of other moms, and before you even say anything, you notice something about each one of them. We all do it. There’s that mom who has all her makeup done—like, even blush. Her hair is curled and freshly highlighted, her nails are perfectly painted, and every time she’s there with her son, he somehow never seems to fuss or cry about anything. Ever.
You look at her and wonder what you’re missing, or how she finds the extra hour or two for herself in a day… or week… or ever. Meanwhile, your hair hasn’t been washed in three days much less combed, there’s some sort of sticky… something… on your arm, and you don’t notice until it’s too late that the yoga pants you left the house in are the ones from the hamper, not the clean ones. Woops.
Once everyone has said their hellos, you start to talk. Each mom begins to paint her own beautiful picture, sharing only what sounds pretty… One mom only feeds her baby homemade, organic, avocado baby food, and another one is sure that baby wipes have deadly chemicals in them, so of course she has fresh aloe on hand. Every now and then, there’s one who looks down her nose at every mom whose three-month-old is not wearing brand name shoes. (yes—shoes. For when that baby, who can’t even roll over yet, magically takes off running. Obviously.)
And then there’s me. When my first baby was four months old, I got pregnant with my second. So, on the spectrum of “What in the world am I doing here” to “I’m too exhausted to pee,” I sat firmly in the “all of the above” category for a very long time. It was a small miracle that I ever got us dressed and out the door at all. I was clueless and emotional for sure, but I was also trying my hardest to be the best wife, mom, and friend I could be, all at the same time.
From the second I found out I was pregnant, or maybe even sooner, I had plans and preferences about how I would raise my beautiful baby. I suppose we all do. What I had NOT planned on, however, was the feeling that I would have to have it all together. Well guess what? You really don’t have to have it all together. Other moms are just. As clueless. As. You. And we’re really all in this together. Oh, there is so much freedom in that thought!